Soul-full-less… An account on behalf of the “soul” and “spirit”

Depersonalization – My soul became unused and truth be told something sure did pick it up and that something sure wasn’t very nice at all.

Never in my wildest of imaginations could I have ever known a soul and spirit to go almost completely black and dormant. “Dead while existing in”… Anything idle in life has the opportunity to be picked up and used for other intended purposes. But, who is picking up what’s idle?

I remember while going through the beginning phases of depersonalization coming across the phrase, “1 foot in heaven, 1 foot on earth”. That was probably the most accurate and detailed explanation for how I felt at the time. It’s strange in it’s cosmic relationship to depression. Lots of similarities, but this thing seems to go beyond depression and anxiety. Depersonalization travels beyond the mind and into the scope of something entirely mysterious. Many people that deal with depersonalization and derealization have no exact way of explaining it. We all come across floods of information and have to choose what best fits with our comprehension of what’s going on. What’s even sicklier is that the word comprehension barely exist within itself while going through these trials. Nothing makes any sense. Sense doesn’t make sense. Words don’t make sense. Colors, breathing, walking, laughter, it all doesn’t make any sense. You’re completely stripped of everything within reasoning and it’s possibly 1 of the most frightening things left here on this plane/dimension we label as Earth.

I sat on a fallen tree stump in the middle of the woods 1 day. A trail lay in front of me. It was a chilly day therefore it was desolate. I watched as leaves fell and the branches of trees swing back and forth with no rhyme or reason. I tried with much effort to use my senses to feel all that was around me in the moment. I recall thinking that day, who is this. My entire body was numb and so were my senses. My whole being had been depleted at that point. There was this intense disconnect from the forest as well as the breeze that ran across my ear lobes. There was no such thing as “me” in the moment. There was no name and nor was there a body. Something or somebody else was using this body for sure. I would be scared for my life for many months on end. Most of you will never get it. If you only knew that you were being induced and manipulated every moment of the day. The mind space of reality that surrounds you is not just your own. Your body isn’t yours and neither is the spirit and soul that inhabits your casing. Nevertheless the spirit and soul cam be used in such a way to give you life and redefine character in very good or evil ways.

I always believed in God. Even as a child I did.  I would ultimately seek Him around 2006. Although much earlier in life I could cross paths with this really strange intuition of sorts. He has always been ahead of me and even when I didn’t know Him, I knew Him. In those moments of possession you really have to make some extremely vital choices. If you don’t it seems as though something else will make choices for you. Without going to deep into it all and as to not frighten you, let’s just say there’s a lot to be said about the name of God and His son Jesus Christ. (James 2:17, James 4:7). There were many times throughout my journey with depression, derealization, and depersonalization where I felt as though something else was in control of my mind and soul. I called on God through Jesus Christ every time hence the reason why I’m here sharing my testimonies with you. I end this portion by stating that there is something very peculiar about these mental conditions. I could have easily subscribed to the descriptive reasoning of neurological and cognitive mishaps of the brain and mind from most doctors and health care medical professionals. But, this was beyond them and their reasoning. These mysterious conditions of the mind and body are very super natural and very difficult to diagnose at times.

 

Which all begs the question, “who and what is actually causing your right foot to go ahead of the left”? we don’t give enough credit to the complete functionality of the spirit and soul. Why? You know the reason why. It’s because it’s not tangible to the human eye and all departments of our senses. It’s very difficulty for most humans to comprehend that there’s some type of shield of things invisible that’s going on constantly around us, through us, and in us every single millisecond of the day. We can feel comfort in feeling and seeing our bodies. We can relate to what we can see, hear, taste, etc… But, what do you think happens when you can’t see and feel your body or when you can’t understand your senses and they don’t work in your favor. I’m sure your response is that you exit life here on Earth. Would you believe me if I told you that that’s not necessarily true. If God hasn’t sent those orders yet, then it’s just not your time. The soul and spirit can exist more than you know beyond the control  of what you can’t control or fathom. Especially, if it’s exercised appropriately. A functioning soul is a soul at large and about. Ultimately they all work hand in hand with 1 another. Another 1 of many of God’s most strange mysteries. Have you ever felt like just letting go off life but life won’t let go of you. It’s almost as if you’re letting go of God’s hand. Well, just because you let go of His hand doesn’t mean He’s going to let go of yours. We all have our time’s of expiration.

Lastly, a dormant and darkened soul and spirit can reappear again. But you must exercise them both. I can’t speak on behalf of other faiths. But, I can definitely speak on behalf of who I believe in. At some point early on I chose to daily exercise my soul and spirit. Apparently, I hadn’t paid much attention to it. I feel that because I wasn’t paying much attention to it or my relationship with God, that my soul got weakened and life was running away and out of me by the gallons(literally). Due to my soul and spirit being depleted I also believe that I left my body, emotions, and senses open to be inhabited by something that wasn’t supposed to be there. I called on God, Christ, and my Angels daily and I still do. For me, reading the bible daily is part of my many meditations and releases. It helps me to maintain the soul and spirit’s interaction with God as well as prepare for future battles concerning what I can’t see in front or behind me. You must keep the soul and spirit exercised and strong in order to be soul-full. If you want a return on any investment, you must make a deposit. God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, your soul, your spirit, and your angels all work in the same way. You must speak what you want and need and you must believe what you feel and say with all your heart. You can whisper God’s name at any point in time and He’ll be there. Trust me when I tell you that you have a crowd of cheerleaders around you at all times whether you’re losing or winning. They are there to help you at all times. Just ask them now…

ER