“I see the unseen”… Depersonalization

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The Unseen: Something so deep, vast, and complex that only God can comprehend the ins and outs regarding dimensions and avenues of the past, dreams, illusions, and perceptions of the future. 

Remarkable with His thorough gifts, is the making of what we define as a human being. But, then again who are “we”. There’s the body which consist of flesh and bones and then there’s “the mind”. The “unseen” are the invisible things that slide in front of your eyes moment by moment on a daily basis. They interfere with your view points and visionary angles with no announcement or hesitation. They cloud judgment and can benefit your growth as well as predict your death. They are invisible pages that reveal itself whether you want them to or not. The “unseen” also possesses the ability to attach itself to various emotion. Fear is a product of the “unseen”, sadness is, and so it the emotion we all enjoy called joy. Although, “the unseen” is inevitably apart of the human condition, it is best that we understand the dichotomy of the “unseen” in it’s purest form. I’m sure you initially thought I was speaking of the dead, ghost, and spirits. Not this time(chuckle). That’s a subject of interest for a later time. The subject matter of the “unseen” is something we all possess. Let me explain.

1 of many issues while coping with depersonalization are things that are invisible. If you’ve read other blogs of mine you’ll immediately notice how crucial and essential it is that you clearly comprehend the difference between what’s real and what is imaginary. What’s “imaginary” can be somewhat complex and undefined. Here’s what I define as “unseen”. Dreams can be classified as “unseen”. Dreams are imaginary seeds of the soul with no limitations within the bounds and realm of “the mind”. God gives us dreams for very mysterious and essential reasons. But even they can be frightening at times while dealing with depersonalization. Invisible pages of the past and future that run laps in front of your eyes can be very frustrating, scary, and stressful quite often regarding what’s “unseen”. I would also believe those invisible images serve as part of the basis and foundation for the fears within depersonalization. In addition, my journey with derealization was very difficult to get through due to uncontrolled and un managed thoughts and illusions of the past. In my experience with derealization it seems as though I would get lost and confused with reality in the present tense and the imaginary things of the past. The intensity of my thoughts were so frequent and heavy that they outweighed my perception of reality and the present tense. It was daunting at times. Many times it seemed as though my world was moving slow, time didn’t exist and neither did days, seasons, holidays, nor months. You basically feel like you’re running out of life and headed to a place called “death of the flesh”. It truly does feel as though you’re watching a movie out of your own eyes. Even today, I still can’t wrap my mind around what I felt and how I perceived things to be. Nevertheless, that’s just how it is when you’re battling with these mysterious conditions of the mind and soul. Today, I still see these unraveling and random invisible pages. The only difference is that my physical reality and present tense out weigh my thoughts and illusions. With time and trust, God gives you more control and dominance over your mind. You are then able to be more in control of the non physical and tangible matters of the mind and soul.
What happened to you as a child, teen, or young adult is considered apart of the “unseen”. You’ll notice very quickly that the traumatic things that have hurt or frightened you in life are very popular with the “unseen”. That’s 1 of many things I can’t figure out and I’m sure will never be able to understand why. Point being your fears and pain will elevate and surface more than you could ever believe. And they’ll surface even more if you don’t face the head on. That I do know for sure. Although these things hurt very badly and can potentially cause a lot of grief, trauma, and a downward spiraling influx of mental issues, there is still a way to deal with it all. There are survivors in all corners of the world and you are not alone. Never feel that you are.
Déjà vu is also apart of the “unseen”. Which can also be terrifying when coping with depersonalization. The best thing to do when experiencing déjà vu is to do what I always suggest, which is to ground and center yourself immediately. Once again, these “unseen” things are aspects of the mind which can’t be understood in it’s entirety. But, that’s none of our business. It’s just best to go with the flow and try your best to connect, comprehend, and stay in the physical realm of things.
So let’s list the things of the “unseen”. Imagination, dreams, the past which includes trauma, abuse, memories, etc…, illusions, the future which includes fears and dreams, thoughts, and déjà vu.
The reason I write about the “unseen” is because it’s pertinent that you learn how to deal with it. You will more than likely never be able to get rid of the “unseen” for reasons unbeknownst. Some people do lose a lot of the “unseen”. Many lose memories and their dreams. I have my reasons for “why” also. But, that’s a blog for another day also. I had a lot of pain and trouble with the “unseen”. I felt as though my entire former mind, self, and body was stripped down to ground zero at some point. I couldn’t understand my legs all the way to me fingers and eyes. No matter how great and wonderful my thoughts and dreams were, they freaked me out daily. It felt unreal and I felt unreal. But, today I am graciously appreciative of all that God allows me to be. I now am very comfortable with my thoughts, dreams, and illusions. It’s a great part of who I am and how God created me. I’m even grateful for the pain, devastating memories, and trauma in my life. It takes a lot to say this and it took a long time to even get to that point. I needed this pain in my life so that I could better understand myself and be able to help others with their pain. Embrace these aspects of who you are. Let them flow in and out and learn to just observe and acknowledge. Learn to just “be”. Learn to love yourself. Be willing to be open and receive that stillness and peace. And learn to be 1 and comfortable with the “unseen”.

Hallucination