So, I decided to take a trip to the Museum Of Modern Art today. I have been anticipating this journey for quite some time now. I hadn’t been to a museum in forever and my mind’s tongue was salivating at the opportunity and experience of a lifetime.
You see, when my soul was darkened or in a state on intense depersonalization and derealization I couldn’t find much purpose in anything that had to do with life. I remember being at my lowest moment and that’s when the thoughts of death seemed more certain than ever. I had nothing to grab on hold to. I was searching and my soul was searching right along with me. A short time thereafter, I stumbled across photography. That’s when it hit me! Bam, right in my face. I thought about the radio production career I once had. I thought about how I had been performing audio production for over 14 years straight. I was an artist and somewhat free spirited and never knew it.
Fast forward to the museum. It was all that I ever dreamt it to be. I fell in love with me all over again. It was nourishment to my spirit, mind, and emotions. That’s the magnificent thing about depersonalization. If you use it to it’s advantage, it will make you stronger. You don’t have to go in the direction of your fears. Yes, this conditional state of the soul and mind can cripple you and leave you debilitated. I remember when i could barely drive and when I had lost my compass of mind by route of lack of direction. But, it hit me 1 day. It hit me that I could literally put 1 foot in front of the other and then another foot in front of the other. I used that simple task alone to keep moving forward. You have to(I REPEAT), you have to get out and do things. Do thing you’ve never done before. You’ll thank your soul and self later, “I promise you”!
Yes, I still deal with depersonalization slightly. But it doesn’t define me. It doesn’t define my life. I am not depersonalization. I am a soul guided by God through Christ. I am ElReco Ramon Gillison. I am Ghost! Get out and the redefine your soul. Redefine art! Who are you?
G h o s t